So, to set up this piece – it’s intended as a farce, as a joke, and as a writing exercise. The task was to create an erotic story that is full of terrible analogies, bad metaphors, and is all-around purposefully just…well, bad. So, enjoy the laughs – but be careful reading ahead because there is sexuality (even if it is produced in a terrible way) and some very naughty words and language. – Joe   He could feel the palpitations in his heart when she walked into the room. Of course, the palpitations were almost certainly directly related to his third nipple, but for some reason science hadn’t actually nailed that down for sure. For now, he was going with the long dandelion stems…