Posted on January 24, 2019
I’m a pretty simple guy. Definitely not perfect, but real simple.
Over the past couple years I’ve sort of disrupted my life and tossed it all around. So far, it’s largely unaffected me (aside from the fact I am now a married man)…mostly because to keep myself sane – I keep it simple.
Some folks need to have really nice cars. I don’t care what car I have, as long as it drives. And, to be honest – I’d almost never really want to have a nice-looking car because so far mine has been broken into twice and it was a pretty average ride (and I say “was” in the past-tense, because that car has been gone for a year, now). So, I can’t imagine the stress of leaving a nice, shiny new car for any opportunists around to come trying to get into. I don’t want to care about my possessions, and having nicer things makes you care more about them by default.
Some folks need to have really spacious homes where they can have massive gatherings or put up lots of family members. Sure, that’d be nice – but having a place like that really complicates things. As long as I’m warm, dry, and can have alone time, time for thoughts, for writing – a place that “feels” like home – that’s all I need. The spaciousness is something I would take if found, but I don’t go out of my way for. Eventually, if I ever have a family – that’s different. But for now, just the roof will suffice because that’s all I need.
Some folks need to have the most expensive foods. They go to the restaurants with the “$$$” or the “$$$$” rating. But to me, those places are worth it only once in a blue moon. I’d rather walk into one of those “$$” places and get my fill, get my money’s worth, leave with a smile on my face, barely holding onto consciousness as I battle a food coma. Those other places – you’re eating art, not food. I’ll take an old-fashioned PB&J over a Pâté en croûte with a smear of pistachio ice cream for dessert. That PB&J gives me comfort, and as long as I can supplement a shitty diet like that, I feel generally okay and that I’m eating decently. I can remember a time when I had no food.
And in the case of friendships, relationships – I keep it simple too. You like Star Wars, David Bowie, video games, cooking, etc? Then you have a friend in me (even if you like TLJ ), and I’m someone who, even if at times seems far away or distant, always appreciate those connections. I am a simple man. If you show me love and friendship, you’re going to get that back when I can give it. It’s just that sometimes, I can’t, and what I need from my true friends is their understanding that I cannot always give it back, and that I really don’t expect you to at all times either – just as long as you genuinely care about me. I’ll care about you, too.
And with my last relationship, I couldn’t give back. And that’s why it failed – because I went too long without being able to give back. And I felt bad about it, but couldn’t change it. So I had to let it go before what we had turned into something uglier. And I came to the very brink of that happening. And I made a lot of mistakes. But I’m trying to move myself back to that simple life, that simple state of being, and I think I’m doing well so far.
I hate complicated.
If you’re like me, you should hate it too. Or, you should at least give hating it a try. Stay away from the drama, the discourse, the unpleasantries whenever you can. Streamline. Peg with precision what makes you the most happy and cling to it.