Recently, my wife and I decided to do a sort of mutual Q&A post for our respective blogs. I’ve always enjoyed the whole “blog train” type of blog posts, where lots of different bloggers promote other blogs by their friends, but I’ve never really thought of doing one with my wife. Until now, anyway. It’s almost our one year anniversary of marriage, so we thought now especially would be a good time to sort of check in with one another. And, who knows – we may even make this a regular thing on each other’s blogs.
So, with that said – I am just going to get to answering my wife’s questions. But also – please check out my wife’s blog, Beyond Pretty Thoughts. She’ll be answering questions that I sent her, and she posts a lot of lifestyle content I’m sure you’ll enjoy. She’s the best.
PEYTON: What is your favorite thing about our marriage?
Well, that’s kind of a tough one. There are so many things I love about you and about our marriage. I can’t believe it’s basically been a year already. The time certainly does fly with you. I guess maybe one of the things I like best about our marriage is that, generally, we are after the same things. We both love to be creative, spontaneous, and practical. We both carry the same energy, and we both seem to have the same sort of general direction for our future. I guess that’s probably it. That we’re so “in tune” with one another, without even trying.
PEYTON: What memory comes to mind first from our dating days?
The memory that first comes to mind from our dating days is basically just how chaotic it all seemed to be. I moved twice in one month. We both went through breakups soon before. There was a lot of drama at work. I’m glad all of that is behind us, but in a way I’m happy we went through it because we each proved that we both really wanted to be where we are now with one another.
PEYTON: What about me inspires you to be a greater man?
You inspire me. I love you with all my heart, and so I want to be the best version of me that I can be. For you, for us. You are wonderful and I want to match that.
PEYTON: What is one thing I have done for you recently?
Lately, you’ve been giving me rides. We only have the one car right now, and most of the time you’re willing and able to give me a ride either to or from work, even when I tell you I can walk. But you do lots of other stuff. Even before I started typing up this post, you plugged in my computer for me, because you were already plugging in your phone. So thoughtful.
PEYTON: After losing faith in marriage due to a divorce, what made you so sure about marrying me?
Marriage is a gamble. A very big gamble. After my last marriage failed, I said I would never marry anyone again. But that was because I hurt, and I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone again. Regardless if she meant to or not, my ex-wife really just hurt me and tore down all the progress I’d built. I had fears, and I still have worries, but mostly – you have proven yourself to be more forward-thinking. I’m also more mature than I once was, and with that and my previous experience with marriage, I feel I have a better handle on it now. Every day is a choice you have to make to be with your significant other, and every day I choose you. You are my person. I can’t help how you think on your end, but I do try to show you in little ways every day how much I love you and want to be with you.
PEYTON: What is something I could work on and develop? Personality or career wise?
Personality? Don’t change. I love you for who you are. It’s a huge mistake to want someone to change after you get together. That’s actually part of the reason my last marriage ended. You are smart, funny, and outgoing in your own way. One suggestion I might have had would be to open up more, but you are already doing that on your own. Career-wise, I would say that you have the most control over that, and that you should do what makes you happy. I think you’re on the right path right now. In any case, you seem to be doing a much better job than I am at the moment in that department.
PEYTON: In what ways could our marriage be stronger?
It’s hard to say. I feel that it’s pretty strong right now, but obviously there is always room for improvement. I would guess that maybe we’d move into a direction where more family is involved on a day-to-day basis. You and I are so close, and growing closer every day (if that’s possible) – but I want us to be central to our respective families. Hosting get-togethers, having family over, etc. Other than that, maybe just trying to communicate better. We have occasional instances where aggravations are made worse because we both make assumptions.
PEYTON: What do I do that makes you feel most loved?
When you “care” about me. When you know that I need to spend time with my brothers and my sister and my friends, when you care about my little pursuits with writing and my other hobbies, and when you encourage me with my health and work. I feel loved when you have so much investment in “me”.
PEYTON: Where would you like to see us in five years?
Ideally? We would have a house, better jobs, and maybe have even moved to a more prosperous area. There’s nowhere to go but up, and right now we’re both being made to stagnate in various ways due to high rent, high cost of living, and bad credit from the past. I want a future with you that doesn’t rely on moving from apartment to apartment, with no room for our stuff. I want to have my own “man cave”. Maybe we’d have another dog or a cat, maybe we’d start to think about having a family. It really all depends on our outer circumstances.
PEYTON: What could I do to make you feel more confident in our future?
Just continue to be faithful to me, to be honest with me, and to bear with me as I try to make my own way in this crazy world. We will each experience loss, success, temptation, anger, happiness, and everything else under the sun. But we must remain true to one another, and never forget how hard we had to work to get where we are, and how hard we fought for one another – despite the circumstances. It can be hard to not get frustrated during trying times, but we each have to remember that those are the times where it’s the most necessary. We need to really be there for each other. We have to keep being a team.